Having lost my wife last October and upon discovering three months ago that I have a serious heart condition, I find myself thinking that I’m caught between the throes of death and the possibility of being reborn a new man. What is there to life but moving from one version of it to the next?
We are one person in our early childhood; we’re another during our teen years, and yet another when we take up adult responsibilities of career and family. And yet there’s a continuity to all of these different personages we become. Each succeeding one is built on the previous one, even though changes in our lives are sometimes drastic ones.
Genetic flaws ultimately caused my wife’s death, and now another threatens mine. Will I endure, at least for a while? Part of the answer is up to me, to personal will and strength, and the rest I submit to fate.
But today is my birthday. Such days are part celebration of the moment and part retrospective. So where does the future fit into this? The seed of the future is, I believe, in the moment of celebration. Each moment begets the next, and if I were to make a celebration of each of these succeeding moments, and of those that have drifted into what we call the past, I will have lived my life to its fullest, no matter the encumbrance of its failures, its ailments, and hardships.